Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! I'm drawn to you. You're setting a bad example for the kids. Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. That's one for the books! Upload. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Did He Do That? - The New York Times Urkel actor Jaleel White is launching his own cannabis brand | CNN Business Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Will you marry me? Do these guys have game? Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Steve Urkel: Okay. Get up and get your own pie! She's mine! [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? More like The Repulsions. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. That wasn't a rock video. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Would you like that? I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. You mother once tried bean bags. It helps to determine how much help you need. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any important paper work. Steve Urkel: Calm down? next semester, are ya? Wa chee! What did you do? Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Harriette: What for? Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. I don't know what to say. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! 'Steve Urkel' Actor Jaleel White Launches Purple Urkle - Forbes [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. no. Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Stupid? Didn't you? Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Steve Urkel's Young Neighbor On 'Family Matters' Is All Grown Up - HuffPost "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. [laughs] Bye! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. You can do it! Is that the problem? Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? Carl will understand. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Harriette: I don't know. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. How much will that cost me? You are such a sweetheart. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Easy Eddo. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Oh, I see. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. Seems I'm having all the luck. I met Raoul. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. You kissed me. Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. We're having big fun here. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. Maxine: Ugh, what is this? Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Steve Urkel: All right! Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Eddie borrowed money from me. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Steve Urkel : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Carl: I am not. No. Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. "Take out the trash, Edward." Oh, the room is spinning. This causes Steve, Waldo and Weasel to leave and Eddie laughs nervously]. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Laura: Yeah. Laura Lee Winslow: What're you guys going to see at the dinner theater? When's the last time you slept? Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Nobody threatens my woman! Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Waldo: [pause] Wow! this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. The Battle of Bad Pickup Lines: Round 1 || STEVE HARVEY Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. A small gastronomic goof up. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? But I have feelings, too. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. There's no justification for this behavior! Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Three times X equals six. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . Steve Urkel - Wikipedia And I like the Red Sox. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! He is portrayed by Jaleel White. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Eddo. He's a lawyer! [crying], Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Carl Otis Winslow: I know. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow oh [guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Estelle Winslow: Carl! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'm not joking. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? Did I do that? You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. I can almost see what you had for lunch! 11 days ago. Carl: Overreact? Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? What about it, Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Let's just get there! Come here, let me give you some sugar. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. But you'll never play in this game again. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. Steve Urkel: A little? White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. the signs as potential pick up lines from hamilton. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping!