Not all men are annoying. You planet. Why was six afraid of seven? Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? What do you call friends you listen to music with? Knock Knock! This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. I said you look fat in those pants. Whats 72? Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. 8. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. I Never Asked for This | Know Your Meme They have many fans. A guy will search for a golf ball. Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. The German replies, "Nein, just one.". King Henry the Second who? Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. Question and Answer Jokes - Jokes - Jilljuck Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . A pork chop. Sucka. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up - Thought Catalog Your mom sure seemed to care last night. A limbo champ walks into a bar. Once. "Are you gay?". Jokes for Kids 2022. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. Dinner's on me. *wink*. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. 70 Hilariously Funny Jokes - Absolutely Hilarious Jokes to Tell Ivana who? 2. How is life like a penis? * You didn't ask me? I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Are you an adult? What do you call a hippie's wife? Whether youre looking to shut down someone in an argument or want some witty responses up your sleeve, these comebacks will do the trick. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. By the taste. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? Where are average things manufactured? Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. Approximately one GB. If they ask, "Who asked?" A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. How does a squid go into battle? Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? What is red and smells like blue paint? Knock Knock! ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. 2. There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. Please stay on the line until you hear the beep forvoicemail. Explanation: Gathering dust (and other dirt) is a vacuum cleaners sole purpose. 100 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Crush - Easy Recipes, Printables, And Fun According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Take my advice its not like Im dumb enough to. Some are dead. 38. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. 8. 31 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny - FunnyWorm Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? I used to be addicted to soap. What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? 50. So they don't peel. What do you call a pig that does karate? Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? 16. No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! Sorry, I'm still working on it. 1. It all depends on you and the situation. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? It is a pretty rude thing to say. 45 lbs. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. This worked so well! A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Whats warm, wet, and pink? Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. Which is faster, hot or cold? She couldn't control her pupils. 7 Up in cider. Beano Jokes Team. if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. Strong people dont put others down. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. This response works because it responds to the rude question with a level of innocence that fully brings attention to how rude the question asker was being towards you. A clever response shows that you are quick on your feet can be really smart. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Because theyre used to eating nuts. Close the door, I'm dressing. Best Dick Jokes Through History - Why Sexual Comedy About Men - Esquire You can drop them off anywhere. Dont make me come in there! 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes Whats the best part about gardening? 15. Question: What is another name for female Viagra? What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. A deodor-ant. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Dress her up as an altar boy. What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones? You boil the hell out of it. Because they're boy-ant. short for? Person . Funny Riddles, Short Jokes, Trick questions - Greeting Card Poet He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Jokes to Test Your Brain! 2. Share the best GIFs now >>> Because the P is silent! I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. The batroom. If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At - We Are Teachers What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember | Reader's Digest What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? Hey! Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A meltdown. 11. list jokes 'poker-jokes-that-are-sure-to-crack-even-the-toughest-poker A man goes to the doctor and says Ive got a problem, I have 5 penises.. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? You planet. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. Check out these funny one-liners that will give you the biggest laughs from the fewest words. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Spit, swallow, gargle. What washes up on very small beaches? 2. Why don't chickens play baseball? These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify In a hambulance. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. 31. Micro-waves. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. 27 Best Replies To "Did I Ask You?" (Funny & Clever) * No, you didn't. What's your point? I think its time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable. Elementree school. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At - Best Life Discover short videos related to did i ask jokes on TikTok. Robin who? 25. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. Country Living editors select each product featured. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Control Freak. Why couldn't the knife go back in the drawer? "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". Pilgrims. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker Well, I'm not going to spread it. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers 5 Results Buy any 4 and get 25% off. We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Urban Dictionary: When did I ask? Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I dont think so. You're not completely useless. The farmer had cold hands. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. He gave her a diamond card. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. I can totally keep secrets. 10 Best Funny Riddles. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". Why don't sharks eat clowns? After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. A slipper. Where do young trees go to learn? A horse walks into a bar. Learn about the best baby names out of Japan. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. Your wife will always blow your bonus! Laughter is infectious. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. Sharing is caring! 4. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. Pilgrims. Whos there? Because 7-8-9. Their comments didn't hurt me physically, but they did make me sad.Bullying is a common problem . What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? You know there's no official training for trash collectors? Get ready to laugh, hard. } else { If this made you giggle, youll love these food jokes. Then it hit me. Explore the latest videos from . All while making the question asker look dumb. For more information, please see our The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Making it very clear that the question asker was being rude. I cant wait to see her face light up when she opens it. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? Must be none of your business then. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. Whats even better than winning the Special Olympics? What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? Knock Knock. Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Youre probably dumb. 40. The redhead says it looks like cum. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. What did the big flower say to the little flower? 38. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. There was nothing left but de-Brie. Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. Jokes for Kids 2022 | Beano.com. Just stare blankly at the person who asked you that and say nothing. #challenge #experiment Knock knock. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. 10. A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. 47. 9. Here's a list of 55 . The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? A penguin in the washing machine. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? We recommend our users to update the browser. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? 37. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 3. 31 Jokes About Work That'll Make Even Your Boss Laugh - Distractify He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Where you put the cucumber. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Apple Jokes. * You don't want my opinion? What did the leper say to the prostitute? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? The other cow says, "Why would I care? 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. What is the opposite of a croissant? Why do bees have sticky hair? A liar. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers - Redbubble The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { The only answer is to have some responses ready in your back pocket, responses that you can read below. There were two goldfish in a tank. I was kidnapped by mimes once. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. What do you call an expert fisherman? 36. If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. Its a win-win! If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . All Rights Reserved. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? Why do geese fly south in the winter? A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Some are dead. Youd better be. said the man in the orthopedic shoes. Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. The dont meet the koalafications. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. You won't stop laughing at these 10 jokes! | Articles | CBC Kids A lip reader. Well-armed. What did the O say to the Q? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. What is the square root of 69? Oh, no. Knock knock. Learn more about us here. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Ivana. Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. If youve ever been in situations where you say something, and someone says, did I ask and you dont know how to respond, these did i ask comebacks will serve you well. What did one hat say to the other? What did the mother rope say to her child? These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. How do you get a nun pregnant? This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Fuck you said who? I took a poop in the elevator. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. He told me to stop going to those places. This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Why don't math majors throw house parties? Neeeooooooow! 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Her navel. Khanada Lakes on Twitter: "WhoCares WhenDid I ask WhyAre you Id never advise you to be rude, but I understand why some people are frustrated. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. 40. Good Comebacks for Unwanted Opinions (Our Favorites) This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place.